Understanding inflated responsibility
An excessive or inflated sense of responsibility occurs when you interpret your thoughts in terms of whether they can cause distress or harm to yourself or others. That is, having the thought in and of itself gives you a sense of guilt or responsibility.
Examples include:
● I have the thought that I could have cancer or an STI. Does that mean I do?!? And, I feel anxious and uncertain. What does that mean?!?
● I had the thought that I don’t love my partner. Does that mean I don’t?!? And, I feel anxious and uncertain. What does that mean?!?
● I had the thought that I might have hurt, murdered, assaulted, offended someone in the past. Does that mean I did?!? And, I feel anxious and uncertain. What does that mean?!?
● I had the thought that I could have done more to help someone. Does that mean I should have?!? Am I bad because I didn’t act on that thought?!? And, I feel anxious and uncertain. What does that mean?!?
● I had the thought that I could work harder at something that I value. Does that mean I must?!? And, I feel anxious and uncertain. What does that mean?!?
● I had the thought that my anxiety might kill me, make me go crazy, or embarrass me. Does that mean it will?!? And, I feel anxious and uncertain. What does that mean?!?
● I had the thought that someone judged me. Does that mean they did?!? How do I know they didn’t?!? And, I feel anxious and uncertain. What does that mean?!?
● I had the thought that I’m not good enough. I also feel worthless and hopeless. It must be true.
Notice that the content of each of these examples are different, but the process is the same.
Here’s a recap of the anxiety/OCD process:
● You are already sensitized.
● An unwanted intrusive thought (that is, an obsession) or worry arrives in your mind with a whoosh of anxiety.
● It seems important so you search for what it means.
● The search gives you more anxiety and you search for what that means.
● The thought becomes more prominent in your mind, which appears to give it more meaning.
Content areas that are maintained by inflated responsibility typically seem meaningful. Part of overcoming inflated responsibility is challenging or letting go of the meaningfulness of the content as it operates in the anxious process. The trick is to hold to seemingly contradictory ideas in your head at the same time: the content of my thought might be or is meaningful, but the process I’m using to discover and work with the meaning is problematic, unhelpful to me, and/or driven by anxiety and OCD.
Examples include:
● It’s important to me that don’t harm children, but avoiding children in response to the thought that I could hurt them is OCD.
● It’s important to me that I uphold confidentiality and security standards at work, but triple checking or avoiding work related to security is OCD.
● It’s important to me that I act conscientiously, but replaying every social interaction makes me less likely to spend time with the people I love.
The content in all of these examples is meaningful. We can identify it as OCD because of its process – how it feels and acts. If the content is important to you, you should be able to choose to think about it. You shouldn’t have to think about it, because it happened to arrive in your mind.